How to Lose Students and Alienate Teachers

As much as I enjoy discussing serious educational topics, I also like to look on the bright side of life. It’s important to laugh during times of trouble and stress, otherwise I, you, everyone would go bonkers! Things here at my school are pretty crazy at the moment. Monty Python sang it best!

If you’re familiar with tips from the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People

Here are some fantastic tips for teachers! 😉

  1. Show up to work late or under the influence of something.
  2. Don’t show up at all.
  3. Constantly tell your superiors that you can’t do something and make up an excuse why.
  4. Sleep, eat, or drink during class (make sure your students see you enjoying your snacks).
  5. Don’t worry about standardized testing, people don’t need to know how well your students are learning. *
  6. Don’t plan lessons, just wing-it!
  7. Ignore parent phone calls (what do they know anyways?)
  8. Talk about other teachers behind their backs, or better yet, in front of your students!
  9. Don’t allow your classes to be observed.
  10. Instead of praising your students’ efforts, emphasize their mistakes!

You know… I’m sure some student would enjoy this.


*While standardized testing may not always be good, it provides statistical evidence of student progress and can be tracked yearly.

(Now, I’m sure all of you understand this post is meant to be humorous, and these tips aren’t fantastic at all – unless you want to get fired!)

Whenever things get too stressful, remember to laugh!

(By the way, what tips would you add to this list?)


Filed under Humor, Stress, Teaching

2 responses to “How to Lose Students and Alienate Teachers

  1. English Expressions

    I agree with this completely! It’s important to have a good sense of humour in the classroom and learn to laugh. Although, all teachers could follow the example of Dewey Finn from School Of Rock. Revolutionary teacher right there! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love that movie!! Haha!! It’s fun to break a rule every once in a while, but it’s important to keep things in perspective. It’s too easy to focus on the little things that stress us out. Thanks for commenting!

      Liked by 2 people

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